Monthly buzz ... food for thought

What am I avoiding when I get sick?

Now I know this doesn’t apply to everyone or to many illnesses. Illness can have many causes, emotional, mental, genetic, chemical, physical or spiritual. However, for me, I sometimes get colds when I’m either wanting to avoid something, or I’m overdoing it a bit (stressed) and I need time alone, or I need to integrate something new.

I’m currently getting over a cold. I like to blame the smoke (from the fires in NSW). It was a particularly smoky day when I got a sore throat, that then moved into laryngitis and finally into a cold. It was a nuisance the week that it happened, as it was a particularly busy week with a number of work appointments and social outings I’d been looking forward to. However, when I looked into it (being guided by another healer), I discovered that I simply wanted to do nothing for a week and I needed time alone.

I thought I’d got over this pattern, needing to get sick instead of saying ‘no, I’m not available’ – let alone, dare I admit it - no, I’m not available because I need some time alone and I need to nurture myself. It’s called ‘sacred selfishness’ because unless we have the capacity to nurture and unconditionally love ourselves, how can we nurture and unconditionally love others?

It’s unfortunate that we can sometimes be living the choices of others, or living a conditioned pattern or program from childhood. It may have been the way we coped when we were young or a way of keeping ourselves safe, however, in adulthood, this pattern may no longer be appropriate and can keep us out of our integrity or alignment to our authentic self.

Some years ago, a wise person said to me, “Maret, wouldn’t it be better if you made a conscious decision instead of getting sick, when you don’t want to do something”? There and then I made the choice to make conscious decisions. I rarely suffered from colds after that. Though, when I first started practicing ‘no’ or “I’m not available’ and meeting my own needs instead of the needs or requests of others, it was very scary. These things can run very deep. Underneath it all, we can even subconsciously feel as if our life is in danger. However, sometimes we simply need to do what scares us, in order to expand and increase our alignment with our authentic self.

Having said all that, I still need to acknowledge that we are all human and sometimes we do fall back into old patterns, even if only briefly. When this happens, it’s helpful if we’re kind to ourselves and don’t beat ourselves up for it. Simply acknowledge it and make a conscious choice to do it differently next time – and follow through on that choice.

http://www.maretstaron.com/monthly-buzz facebook.com/maretstaron